Hope
by wingdesire
Summary: Eren has a secret. Levi knows, or he thinks he does
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again. As usual I am slacking off and not doing my homework. Thought about this from morning, couldn't get it out of my head. This is Eren/Levi, even though I don't ship these two,for some reason I enjoy writing {and reading} it. AU. Need to write some more mikaere… don't hurt me. Taking a spin at present tense. Might switch back and forth tenses, sorry about that.**

**Trigger Warning: abuse.**

**I do not own snk, blah blah blah….**

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He could not remember the last time he felt safe. That was years and years ago, when he still had a kind mother and a doting sister. They left, though it wasn't their fault. She died suddenly, couldn't handle it anymore. After that, his sister ran, tears streaming down her face in an endless stream.

He couldn't understand. Why didn't he leave? What was keeping him here? Was it attachment? Love? Maybe hope? That someday his father would actually come to love him? No, he was the fuckup. He deserved this. Every hit, every scratch was punishment. For being born. For killing his mom. For not being able to stop anything. For being so angry all the time. For pushing Mikasa away. For staying here. For hoping. For…..

He didn't know anymore.

That's why he was surprised when he suddenly was sent to the principal's office, the student aide's brow creased in worry. For a split second, he panicked. Did they find out? Oh, he was going to be so screwed. His dad would not be happy. He should've done a better job at hiding it. He always was a terrible actor.

"...Eren."

He blinked, snapping out of his daze.

Saw the solemn face of the principal.

"We regret to inform you that your father, Grisha, passed earlier this-"

A strange buzzing filled his ears. No. That wasn't right. It couldn't be… his father was really gone.

How was he supposed to feel?

Regretful?

Sad? Relieved?

Guilty? Liberated?

.

Somebody needed to shut that alarm off. It really was getting annoying. The alarm turned into muffled screaming. Eren squeezed his eyes shut, willing it to go away. It sounded like someone was being strangled.

Slowly

He opened his eyes.

Realizing he was the source of the sound,

He quickly closed his mouth shut.

A shuffle of papers. Pity.

"As of right now, we don't have anyone willing to take custody of you. Is your older sister still available?

He shifted slightly in his seat, still in a mild state of shock. His mouth felt foreign,unattached from his body. Words felt funny on his lips. After some time and difficulty, he managed an answer.

"..Yes."

There was no need to make things harder. He could live by himself. That was the easiest thing to do. After all, what harm was another lie? He already told countless ones, to everyone around him, and himself. Thankfully, no one seemed to notice, but there were times he slipped dangerously close to the edge. Like the one day it was swelteringly hot, and he forgot to cover up his legs. The bruises were faint, had started to fade, but still, that was an incredibly stupid thing to do. If anyone had seen, he would've been done for. The last thing he needed was his father to be barricaded with questions, giving him another excuse to whip out his belt.

No. This was for the best. He didn't want to have to lean on anyone, cause them undue stress. This was his problem. He'd sort it out himself.

"Alright. I'm letting you get off school early. You need a break, kid. Tell Mikasa to take good care of you."

He nodded,excusing himself from his seat. It was a good thing he decided to bring his father's extra set of spare keys. Often, when he'd come home late at night,drunker than ever, he would throw them on the counter, not bothering to pick them up. Eren had gotten into the habit of switching them with a fake set when the old man wasn't looking. The next time the man would go out to a bar, he would be locked out of his house, Eren having left to go sit in the forest,contemplating whether he should tell anyone. When he would come back from his stroll, he'd face a seething dad and an even more painful punishment. It was still worth it, those few hours of solitude. It allowed him time to think, about things. About how he got himself into this mess. Why he was such a shitbag.

No answer ever came to him.

But the forest held comfort, the lush green trees inviting. Nothing could get him here. Nobody knew where he was. He had disappeared, become one with the earth. He was invisible.

Eren turned the lock in his father's apartment, wondering dimly if he should call Mikasa and bring her the news. He wasn't sure if she would be sad or relieved. He decided against it. Telling her would only put more stuff on her plate. Plus, it would prompt a flood of questions, none of which he wanted to answer. He didn't know why he stayed. Actually, he knew perfectly well why he stayed. He deserved it, every thrash, every lick of pain. But he couldn't tell his sister that. She didn't need to worry about him.

The apartment was surprisingly clean,devoid of any vomit or booze. Levi must've been here. His neighbor, across the hall. Eren didn't know if he suspected anything, and frankly, he didn't care. Sometimes, when his wounds ached with a fierceness that even he couldn't ignore, or when his sadness threatened to consume him, he would show up at Levi's door, battered and bruised. The elder would take him in, never asking any questions, steel eyes focused on bandaging the teen, while said teen would cry silently, burrowing his face in the crook of Levi's arm.

Grisha found out.

Eventually he stopped coming over

learned to hide it all.

But there were

still some days when

the sheer threat of pain wasn't enough

Those days

he broke.

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**I honestly have no idea what this accomplished. Once I started,I couldn't really stop. Tbh, it made me a bit sad. This is not done. Please leave comments if you want this to continue, I know I did not really start this.**


	2. Chapter 2

**T: W- E.D,Abuse.**

**Totally irrevelant, but today a girl made a rape joke. Absolutely apalled at the ignorance our generation has. Almost punched the insensitive twat. **

**Almost.**

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Hours

Turned into days

Then weeks.

Weeks of not having to fear pain. Of not having to fear the hot sting against his skin. Of not having to worry about saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing. But with that relief, came guilt. Why should he feel glad that his only blood relative should be dead? What kind of a monster did that make him? He should've been the one to die, not his father. Nobody wanted a bitching kid who couldn't save his own skin.

This reasoning, that it was all his fault and he was no less than scum of the earth, prompted Eren's fasting. At first it was gradual. He would stay up late, thereby forcing him to wake up later. In order to get to school on time [the teen still refused to tell anyone about his 'predicament'], he would have to make a mad dash for the door,economically cutting off breakfast time. This would go on, until he only had one meal each day, lunch at school. The boy was smart,knew if he didn't eat anything he would die. Still, he kept nourishment at bare minimum, only enough to keep him going through each day, but just.

It wasn't like he was concerned with his image. No, nothing as trivial as that. It was the thought of food. Sustenance. Energy. He didn't deserve that, not him. Not when he killed both his parents. Not when he pushed everyone away,including himself. Not when he had so many opportunities to tell, but didn't. He was a coward. Terrible as things were, he didn't want change. He didn't want to be separated from Levi, the one good thing in his life. He didn't want to be moved away, to some unknown location. Who knows what change could bring. He had enough of change.

So, he never talked.

Food just became one more obstacle for him. He hated the taste of it,sliding down his throat. He hated the feeling he got whenever his stomach was satisfied. He felt gross,disgusting. He preferred the empty feeling, arising from his stomach and lower back. That was painful,yes, but didn't he deserve it? After all, that's why his father was so keen on inflicting damage upon his son. He had to deserve it. That was the only explanation. This pain that he received from withholding, was nothing. He had to man up. Nobody liked a weakling. Besides,there were so many other people in worse situations than he. Who was he to call attention to himself? That would just be selfish.

Eren sipped his coffee, enjoying the acrid taste as it hit his lips. He subconsciously put a hand to his stomach,wincing as it growled mercissley. God, it hurt. Not to mention that his scar still wasn't healing, even after all this time. Just another reason of how he was weak. He turned,shifting around in his chair. Damn. He wanted a burrito sooo bad.

He was just about to go for a walk when

He collapsed.

No thought crossed his mind.

Except

'Him.'

Levi never thought he'd love. No, that wasn't really his thing. Not his style. So when he first found out that he'd be having a neighbor, a grim father with his slightly rebellious teenager, the male gave no second thought to it. But then he saw him. Eren. The boy with the brilliant green eyes. They were so big,so expressive. He couldn't help being captivated by him.

The boy sure did have a mouth on him, though. Many nights yelling could be heard through the thin walls of the apartment complex. Levi tried his best to ignore it, preferring not to dwell in private matters. But it was almost impossible. The teenager really did have a set of lungs on him. The two argued about things, school, Eren's grades, money. Levi knew how difficult teenagers could be. Of course, it was never really anything bad. Eren was a very passionate young boy, and often he would go on rants, his voice inadvertently getting louder. Until one day, the topic took a surprisingly dark turn. It was about his mother.

"She died because of you. You killed her."

Levi knew even that was too far. He was munching on a slice of pizza, tuning into the antics of the neighbors. Even when he was shouting, Eren had a beautiful voice.

He became increasingly worried as he was met with silence. Eren usually had something to say, whether it was a heated comeback or a reluctant apology.

**Slam**.

Moving to the window, Levi could see Eren hurriedly walking outside, mouth set in a scowl. He had the strange urge to comfort the brunet,let him know everything was alright. But he was just a neighbor. They hardly talked, only for that brief time when Grisha had introduced him.

Anyways, it would never work. Levi knew from experience that if he ever came over, that would be dangerously crossing the line. He couldn't develop a friendship with the younger, not when all he wanted to do was feel the taste of his lips. No. That was inappropriate.

He was underage, for God's sake!

Things got increasingly harder when Eren would show up at his doorstep. Levi never questioned it, just provided a shoulder to cry on, rubbing the boy's back in tender circles while he steadily poured out his frustration with things. Only when he saw the tight finger marks on his wrists did he understand.

But by then, it was already too late.

Grisha found out, and placed a restraining order on the male. How dare he? He should've been the one restrained, harming his son like that!

Levi had sighed, berating himself for not noticing. The way Eren would shift uncomfortably in Levi's lap. The way his eyes flitted to the floor whenever he was with Grisha. He mentally made a promise to himself, to take Eren in, as soon as he could get out of this mess.

Weeks passed, and Levi was sent on an impromptu business trip,scowling at the timing of things. In just two days, his restraining order was going to be lifted. He hated, hated, waiting, but if he was going to do things right, it'd be legally. Even though it made his heart clench every time he saw the young boy, now so distant, afraid.

When Levi arrived home, he raced upstairs, grabbing the spare key to Eren's house he took some time ago. He bolted in, kicking the door open.

Eyes widened when he saw the figure, unmoving against the tile floor.

_Shit. What did he do to him this time? Fuck. I'm so stupid, I never should've of listened. Fuck the legal system. I'm gonna kill him._

In one swift move, Levi called 911, calmly stating the emergency despite the panicky feeling in his gut. He scooped the motionless teen up, moving to bring him outside. Handed him over to the paramedics,who barraged him with question after question. He answered them with a clipped voice, bravado shaken by his slight tremors. Oh god, it was all his fault. All his fault. If only he had said something sooner.

Levi watched as Eren was wheeled into the ambulance, slowly disappearing from sight. He half listened to the address the young lady was giving him.

Only when the wailing noise stopped did he realize how light the boy felt in his arms.

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**Hello again. God, sorry if this chapter was awful, I have no idea if it's good. Sorry that nothing really happened here. It's a slow build, obviously. I love fluff as much as the next person, but we cant have them making out, not yet.**


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